MMVA09 MuchMusic Video Awards

Phew! I think I need a bottle of water. Or maybe a shower, to wash all that residual awesomeness (or sweat) from tonight’s hella insane MMVAs 2009 show off of meh. Else people are gonna stare tomorrow. Here’s the run-down of how this happened, aka my favourite moments from tonight:

Of course it was the Jonas Brothers, our lovely co-hosts, who kicked things off. Obviously, the JoBros first performance, “Burning Up”, burned the audience right up; they were yelling and screaming like seasoned pros. Like really cool gym teachers. You know, the young hot ones. And hey, did you see when their bodyguard (or someone) came onstage to sing a verse with them? Our whole office was like, Huh?

Then, like a two-headed coin of awesomeness, we flip over to Alexisonfire’s energetic performance of “Young Cardinals” on the John Street stage, where the audience was jumpin’ and fist pumpin’ like they were trying to break down the stage with their bare hands. Whoa. And that wicked stage dive into the crowd: impressive!

Here’s the best way to get onto a stage ever: Nico Archambault and Natalli Reznik did one of their So-You-Think-You-Can-Dances onto the main stage. And it was all to introduce Billy Talent’s freaking epic rooftop rockfest.

There was the Black Eyed Peas and their hypnotic dancers, Shiloh’s old school phone booth, and Kelly Clarkson proves that she’s got one heck of a set of pipes. Vocal chops, I mean.

On the side stage, Classified brought a little bit of hardcore Halifax to John Street, before the ladies of Girlicious released the Jonas Brothers back onstage for their second performance of the night. Out of their whole reperatoire, they chose to sing “Paranoid”. I was kinda hoping the Kevin Jonas clones from their video would turn up, but no such luck.

As the night went on, the VJs interviewed Girlicious, Taylor Lautner, Marianas Trench, and a bunch of other celebs who had graciously attended our cute little tea party. I mean, wicked music fest.

And OH MY GOBBLES, you SAW Lady Gaga’s performance, right? She blew up a subway car, got arrested by the Sexy Police, and then her boobs started shooting off fireworks! Holy schamoly!

It was almost like Nickleback’s crazy pyrotechnics, which coincidentally came a little later in the show. Chad Kroeger and the rest of the band looked well coifed for all the flaming balls of fire going on behind them, which is pretty unusual for a rock band. Good on them!

It seems like we packed so many hijinks into two hours that it lasted a lot longer than that, but finally, to bring things full circle, the Jonas Brothers came back onstage one last time to wish the crowd tonight. Adieu, adieu, they said. Or something else classy and sophisticated. And with that, young readers, the bigggest, best MMVA show EVER (until next year) came to an end.

Miss something? Watch the whole show here!